What actually makes lasting change?
How you can start doing what you really want to do and stop giving up!
If your inbox is anything like mine, you have recently received dozens, if not hundreds, of emails with subject lines something like these;
“Become who you want to be in 2021”
“You can change your life in 10 steps”
“Reach all your goals by doing…X,Y,&Z”
Sadly, I know what to do, I just need to do it.
Most of these emails come from people I value…I read their content, I read their books, I’ve even taken a few courses from some of them.
For me, reaching goals is NOT about NOT knowing what to do, the problem is getting motivated.
I found that the lack of motivation comes from 2 main reasons
- I don’t know what I really want, my “Goal”
Or
2. If I do find a goal, I don’t know why I want what I want.
Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. Napoleon Hill
One thing I do know, if you can’t get motivated because you don’t have a strong enough reason, you will never start, you will only daydream about “what if”.
That’s part of the success recipe for reaching goals…you have to find your true motivation.
You can’t “fake it till you make it”….your mind will laugh at your puny self-determination.
Always remember…your mind knows who you are and your level of commitment.
Your mind is a powerful, powerful, capable part of you, that has to have a real reason to get off the couch and go to work.
I think that’s why so many of “us” (people who have reached goals in the past) hit plateaus or get stuck…we know what to do, but we won’t struggle forward if we can’t find the motivation.
Don’t get me wrong
We (my family and I) have done some amazing things in this life (and it’s not over yet 😁) when we made a decision and “went for it”.
Like when my son was 14 and he wanted to start powerlifting against non-disabled competitors.
(He was born with Spinal-Bifida, was a veteran of 30 major surgeries at that time, and is in a wheelchair).
We had to train completely differently than other competitors, even inventing exercises that would make him stronger without being able to use his legs.
Gabe has since become a 3-time benchpress world champion for the United States, being the only wheelchair athlete to compete by non-disabled rules.
We trained, dealt with additional surgeries, traveled to other countries (dealing with handicapped accessibility issues), dealt with anti-American and anti-handicapped sentiments….for years, and loved it all, because we were reaching goals.
I believe once you get truly motivated, your actions follow your motivation and create results.
Those results inspire more motivation, so it turns into a perpetual motion machine and the goal should be reached in just a matter of time…for me, time becomes the saboteur.
If I reach a point where my progress towards the goal and my desire to achieve the goal become equal, I start to look at the time and effort required to reach the original goal and then I flounder.
“Good enough, is always the enemy of the Best”
Let me use weight loss as an example.
I want to lose 30 lbs …I need to lose 30–40. Health is not a strong enough motivation for me, cause there is always tomorrow, right?
Being embarrassed is a strong enough motivator.
I concentrate on a future event that I need to look good for…. I envision me attending the event, seeing people I haven’t seen in a while, I need to look better than I do now…this creates a desire to change.
I start the diet and do well until I lose about 20 lbs and people notice, they give compliments on my weight loss. My brain subconsciously thinks “I started the goal to look better and not be embarrassed…people are complimenting me, I’m just a few pounds away from my goal anyway, so let’s coast”
At this point, there are 2 paths to go forward
- Listen to my inward thoughts….who likes to deprive themselves when there are minimal rewards?
Or
2. Find a new motivator to reach the original goal and beyond.
It could be self-competition…”let me see if I can get back to the best shape of my life before I get too old to do it (me saying to myself at 50 yrs old).”
It could be a bigger reward….like less embarrassment (“ok, you are 20 lbs down, but what will the people who remember you 20 lbs lighter than you are now think?”).
What ever got you motivated in the first place, go deeper in that vein and find your new reason to move forward.
You have probably met and surpassed goals a thousand times in your life.
I’m not trying to tell you something you don’t already know, I’m sharing a reminder with you.
Most of us know what to do, and have a vision of where we would like to be.
Go back to the basics and find your true goal…what do you REALLY want?
Then find your “why”, your motivation.
When you start to waiver, stop everything and find your new motivation.
Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you got, and fix it along the way.” Paul Arden
We don’t have to have a perfect plan, we just have to tap into a desire that is stronger than our objections!
May 2021 be your best year yet!!
